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Her own personal journey through stress, growth and discovery inform both her Chatting Happy blog and The Happy Catalyst facebook page with the hope of spreading happiness to others, one spark at a time. Emma is passionate about positive psychology, avidly learning and applying its lessons to her life and work. Even if the decision I make is not to decide just yet—that is still a decision. A friend once said to me, “Whenever the time is right, it will be the right time.” It helps me relax about my decisions. I don’t know that either, but if you’re with me: Stop thinking it through. Because that’s what’s happening here, you’re just making it up. Whatever it turns out to be, it doesn’t really matter—you can change it later if you really have to. You’re missing out on all the great stuff happening today. I’ll breeze through decisions that floored me before. The clichés about what men and women like are so boring and, more dangerously, often wrong.I present my late research on spooning as Exhibit A. I don’t know whether to call my counselor or ride this one out alone. Things I had already made decisions on, things I felt excited and sure about before, now feel wobbly and wrong. It’s exhausting, it’s frustrating, and it’s totally and utterly unproductive.

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Even though I know the decisions felt right when I made them.

For example, once we've gotten to know each other, asking me if I'm non-op (transgender individuals who have not had any surgery), pre-op (transgender individuals who have not had genital surgery, but may have had breast augmentations) or post-op (transgender individuals who have had breast augmentation and genital surgery) is fine, since it's a personal question about . If it's not something the woman is looking for, then move on.13. If you came into the relationship thinking you were about to have the wildest, best sex that makes you pop like warm champagne, you might need to reconsider. There are so many steps within our transition, and more than likely each of them costs a substantial amount of money.

Asking me what's the difference between a cross dresser and transgender makes me feel like I'm your personal textbook. Porn is fantasy; not every girl is going to give you Mia Bella in sexy lingerie and serve you a platter of the raunchiest sex you've had. From hormones and laser hair removal to breast augmentations and SRS (sexual reassignment surgery).

“He who deliberates fully before taking a step will spend his entire life on one leg.” ~Chinese Proverb Here’s the thing: I don’t know what to do. I can even juggle several not knowing what-to-dos at once. Had I known in the beginning about y, maybe I wouldn’t have chosen that original thing. It doesn’t just stick to the thing I’m not sure about. It seeps into everything else, so instead of feeling uncertain or anxious about one thing in particular, about one decision specifically, I feel anxious, uncertain, and worried full stop.

The state of “not knowing what to do” is like some kind of Miracle Grow for small things in my mind. Not knowing what to do is a particular and well-honed talent of mine. The little voice in my head chides me: If you choose option a, then such and such might happen, which could lead to x and then that may mean y. And this uncertainty, the worry, the anxiety, the not knowing, it isn’t picky.




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